The American version of Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares on the Fox Network is like a blackened hamburger made out of AAA filet mignon. The footage is ugly, the exposition clumsy and obvious – like a drunk repeating himself.

The opening sequence mars the entire operation: where the British series used the motif of a single knife cutting through the air of a kitchen, the American series uses a dozen knives – and throws them, inexplicably, at the star of the show.